Ban The High-Heeled Shoe

A couple of weeks ago my wife strutted in the door as if she were hoping I would notice something new about her. It would’ve been impossible not to. Her boots started right below her knees and continued, as shoes do, all the way to her feet, where the heels were raised off the floor by two five-inch spiked heels. I liked them, I won’t say I didn’t.

“They’re Jessica Simpson Boots, Angie Boots, she proudly announced.

Not to abandon the topic, but it got me wondering when the heel is going to be made illegal again. It was banned you know, one or two times before. It occurred with the King of France, who was renowned for the high heels he was fond of wearing. He felt compelled to confirm not a single person in his kingdom wore shoes higher than his so he decreed it it illegal to do so. It is so very convenient to be king.

We all have heard about Marie Antoinette, who was sent to the guillotine while wearing her high heels. That’s only a major fact because Napoleon had, very recently, decreed it to be against the law to dress in high heels in public. But then why would she give a rip at that point?

We’re all familiar with the indisputable fact that the Puritansarrived in what is now the US and got things started here, but they certainly had some screwy ideas about high heels. They believed it was suitable to burn girls as witches if they were busted seducing a hapless male while wearing high heels.

In the recent past, the Women’s Liberation Movement proclaimed that high heels were obviously nothing more than a tool utilized by the male gender to make girls feeble and powerless and that all of womankind needed to boycott them. They didn’t make them illegal, but they would have if they could have.

So what about it? How about legislation against high heel shoes?—because I know my spouse will wear those new stiletto boots of hers in public anyhow. It would be great entertainment.

Jim Hansen is a freelance journalist who loves to write about most anything. If you would like to see a sampling of the Angie Boots his wife found online, you can check them out at Jessica Simpson Heels or take a look at some other shoe fashions at Jessica Simpson Shoes on Sale.